I hesitate to point an issue to someone, partly because often, it’s sad to hear that the person is fully aware of it and just doesn’t really care, and partly because I value my hard-built relationships with my friends and don’t wish to be so critical of them. So, when I saw a friend in an iffy situation, right after I’d politely mentioned that her hair looked perfect except for that one little spot, I didn’t say anything. Even with a good, positive-outlook friend, two ‘nags’ in five minutes, however minor, just felt bad to me. I couldn’t imagine how much worse it must feel on the listening end, especially first thing in the morning.
But later that afternoon, I saw it again. And though my instinct these days is ‘look right by’,’ this time, it wasn’t. I mentioned that I was sure she didn’t know, but that this was technically something that could end in a ‘rule infraction mark.’
Her response was genuine disbelief, and an immediate ‘thank you for telling me!’ She made me feel a little better about judging my friends favorably– some people truly do want to be corrected, provided it’s done with kindness and tact.