It’s early afternoon here, but Tisha b’Av’s over in Israel. (They’re singing at the Kotel, and it gives me the chills.) I’ve cried myself dry over the past few weeks, and now I’m not sure what to feel. Cold. Last year, I wrote in my journal
this year we fasted for the last Tisha B’Av.
And I can write it again, this year, with equal faith. And again, try to hope it’s true.
But if the rest of the year, as Mim writes, is about the future, and hoping every day, today is for thinking about the past. For me, it’s about thinking, ‘We had a whole year to try. We tried. And we hoped. And we yearned. But guess what? It’s time to wake up and realize that we didn’t get it right this year.
And even if the Moshiach came tomorrow, that wouldn’t change the past thousands of years. All the tragedies. If so many years of history are hard to comprehend, think about this year. We can never totally erase the impact of this, or this, or this, or anything else on the news.
Like I said, I’m not sure what to say. Today is a combination of mourning the past and working towards the future. A day of hope, and a day of despair. Not only hope, because we too need to work to make the Redemption happen, not just rest on our laurels. Not just despair, because without hope, we will fall to depression. This life wouldn’t upset us so much if we had nothing better to hope for. But today, we need to stop saying, “Tomorrow,” and instead ask
“What about Yesterday?”
Because if we don’t think about the past, how can we think about the future?